Author: A cBell Central Original
Date Published: 05.01.2001
Description: This famous tale has been making its rounds as generations and generations pass on the story about how our favorite snacking food, the Pizza Bagel, came to be in it’s current form. Ok Ok, the bagel story hasn’t been in existence all that long. It came about during those boring rides to the ski slopes, and has been entertaining (and sometimes changing depending on the level of depth I want to get into) for several years now.
Note: It is apparent that Bagel is spelled wrong, but if we don’t leave it that way, the story no longer makes sense.
Well, you see once upon a time there was this guy named Bag Le. Mr. Le, was a lonely man who didn’t have many friends. Often you could find Mr. Le on one of his many strolls through the city, when he would leave his house and just wonder around aimlessly for awhile until he could get his thoughts into order. Well, during one hot summer afternoon he decided to take one of his many walks.
He left his house as usual and began on his way past the bakery. As he passed the bakery he saw Fred the baker doing his daily routine of making the bread dough at the upstairs window of the bakery. As Bag walked passed the bakery, Fred slipped on a misplaced mask from the movie Scream, (what that was doing there, the world may never know), and as he slipped the dough that was in his hands went flying out the window on onto Bag and the sidewalk below. Now, as I mentioned, it was a hot summer afternoon, thusly, the sidewalk was very hot. The dough had landed in small round portions on the sidewalk, and in doing so began to bake on the hot, hot sidewalk. Mr. Le, in an effort to pick up the small circles, stuck his finger directly in the middle of each one, as if they were CDs and in doing so put a hole into it.
Anyhoo, Bag picked up the now baked circles of dough, and thought to himself “hey if Fred can drop these on me, there’s no reason why I can’t take them with me”. After picking up the baked circles of dough, Bag Le went on his way, and he didn’t get but a block down the street, when his next incident happened. He was crossing the street when Lizza, the local sauce maker was racing down the street on her razor scooter carrying a box full of her fresh made sauce. As Bag was crossing the street, Lizza was distracted by the funny monkey who was taking a bath on the other side of the street, and thus wasn’t watching where she was going on her little scooter. She slammed into Mr. Le, and her wonderful sauce went all over him and his new found circles of dough. Lizza apologized and Mr. Le told her it was ok, and both moved on their way.
Bag wasn’t sure what he was going to do with these sauce covered pieces of dough, but he took them with him anyhow. Now, there’s something you should know about Bag Le, he isn’t the luckiest person in the world, and as luck would happen his next incident occurred just out of town at Mr. P’s Dairy farm. Mr. P was well know for his famous dairy products, especially his wonderful cheese. Mr P. and his company employed a heard of small penguins to help them distribute their diary products, especially their cheese, the penguins were very good at delivering cheese. Mr. P had just sent out a group of 20 of his penguins at exactly the same time that Mr. Le was walking by. The penguins, not knowing any better, left the dairy farm at full speed just as Mr. Le was walking by. Moving at such a great speed, the penguins were flinging cheese everywhere, and of course, most of this cheese ended up on Bag and his sauce covered circles of dough.
Mr Le, not wanting to loose what dignity he had left, simply picked up his now cheese and sauce covered circles of dough and went on his way. He hadn’t gone more than 10 feet when he tripped over a blimp, and his cheesy sauce covered circles of dough went flying. Bag landed on his back and for some reason his mouth was open. One of the cheesy sauce covered circles of dough landed in his mouth, and much to his surprise, it tasted wonderful. It was like chocolate only better. It was like winning the lottery only better, it was just wonderful. Mr. Le decided he had to market these wonderful little pieces of heaven, but didn’t have a name for them. He decided that he would combine something from everyone who helped him to make this wonderful treat. So he had himself, Bag Le, Fred, Lizza and Mr. P. He decided that he would call them Pizza Bagels, with the P being from Mr. P, izza from Lizza, and Bagle from his own name. He ended up not using Fred’s name in the name of the product because FredPizza Bagles, just doesn’t sound right.
That my friends, is the story of how pizza bagels were created!!